I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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