i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
