Small penises have feelings too.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
