Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
