so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
