There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
