remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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