You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
