Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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