dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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