Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
