john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
is wine microwaveable?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
