I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
