Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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