WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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