it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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