omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
