That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
