do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
