Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
