We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize