If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You've changed since you got that strap on
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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