He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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