I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
