I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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