you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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