shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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