people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize