he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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