Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
