so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
