C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
