Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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