I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
