no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
