I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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