it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
