it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
