i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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