i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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