Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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