So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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