sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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