There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
