drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize