His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
