all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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