Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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