oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
