Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
