i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Can i not drive my cunt home
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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