Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
