so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
