It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
