He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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