Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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