we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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