So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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