i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
